He's tensing up the moment those last three words leave her mouth, going still in the way only an android can. Maybe it's a good thing his LED is gone, because it would surely be spinning a mile a minute if he still had it. His jaw tightens, and when he begins to talk, it's slowly and quietly.]
You're one of my best friends, too. But I don't... [Trailing off, before shaking his head.] I can't be what you want me to be. I'm sorry.
[Looking a little like she's been slapped, she lets go of his hand to rub at her eyes for a moment.]
Please. I don't want to... let you down.
[It might not be clear to him why she's chosen that specific plea. It feels more distant since coming here, but it's all too fresh. All my hope is pinned on Zoe. She's starting to feel like that's true of certain people here, too, and she'd thought - hoped - maybe things would turn out differently this time.
The loss of contact makes him feel... odd. He doesn't want to say that it hurts. He doesn't want to analyze the possibility having feelings of hurt right now, when he knows for a fact that he can never be anything more than a machine. He can't afford to be anything more than a machine. So he allows his hand to return to his side, avoiding her gaze.]
You would never let me down.
[It's the truth. He spent a week connected to her, after all. He knows that she's a good person, with good intentions. That's more than he can say for himself.]
Anyway— He won't respond to the second point. He can't make any promises, after all. He can't say he'll think about something he desperately wants to avoid.]
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He's tensing up the moment those last three words leave her mouth, going still in the way only an android can. Maybe it's a good thing his LED is gone, because it would surely be spinning a mile a minute if he still had it. His jaw tightens, and when he begins to talk, it's slowly and quietly.]
You're one of my best friends, too. But I don't... [Trailing off, before shaking his head.] I can't be what you want me to be. I'm sorry.
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Please. I don't want to... let you down.
[It might not be clear to him why she's chosen that specific plea. It feels more distant since coming here, but it's all too fresh. All my hope is pinned on Zoe. She's starting to feel like that's true of certain people here, too, and she'd thought - hoped - maybe things would turn out differently this time.
But maybe not.]
Please just think about it.
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The loss of contact makes him feel... odd. He doesn't want to say that it hurts. He doesn't want to analyze the possibility having feelings of hurt right now, when he knows for a fact that he can never be anything more than a machine. He can't afford to be anything more than a machine. So he allows his hand to return to his side, avoiding her gaze.]
You would never let me down.
[It's the truth. He spent a week connected to her, after all. He knows that she's a good person, with good intentions. That's more than he can say for himself.]
But you know I can't make any promises.
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[But to the second point... She nods, blinking a few more times.]
As long as you think about it.
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[He will 1v1 her on this subject. Kind of.
Anyway— He won't respond to the second point. He can't make any promises, after all. He can't say he'll think about something he desperately wants to avoid.]
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How?
[It's simple and searching.]
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[She hesitates, but—]
You know what the last thing he ever said was?
I HATE YOU SO MUCH
Your brother?
you love me, also, cw suicide
[...]
The first thing he wrote was that all his hope was pinned on me, and then he did what he did anyways.
britt voice: closes eyes
...]
That doesn't make you a disappointment. [So, so quietly.] I stand by what I said.