requiemed: (Default)
zoe murphy ([personal profile] requiemed) wrote2019-02-18 10:02 pm

pc catchall for ray ([personal profile] selfimmolates)

[]
selfimmolates: (ne. 21.)

[personal profile] selfimmolates 2019-04-07 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
It isn't anyone's responsibility to make someone else "enough".

But making any kind of positive impact on someone's life—that means a lot. It's the people we meet in our lives—and, sometimes, the simple things they do for us, not always realizing it—that make living worthwhile.
selfimmolates: (ne. 3.)

[personal profile] selfimmolates 2019-04-07 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
... What's on your mind?
selfimmolates: (ne. 1.)

[personal profile] selfimmolates 2019-04-07 03:36 am (UTC)(link)
[bluntly,]

Dispose of it.
selfimmolates: (ne. 3.)

[personal profile] selfimmolates 2019-04-07 03:40 am (UTC)(link)
... You gave Connor the freedom to decide what path he wants to go down.
selfimmolates: (ne. 21.)

[personal profile] selfimmolates 2019-04-07 03:46 am (UTC)(link)
[...]

Zoe, I never did tell you about the place I grew up in, did I?
selfimmolates: (ne. 2.)

[personal profile] selfimmolates 2019-04-07 04:26 am (UTC)(link)
... It was an orphanage. Pretty idyllic—a loving caretaker, warm and caring siblings, always something to entertain yourself with, no fear of starvation or anything like that, etc.

Except for that one detail, unbeknownst to all of the kids, of how getting "adopted" actually meant being sent to your death.
selfimmolates: (ne. 21.)

[personal profile] selfimmolates 2019-04-07 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
... That part's complicated. It's not really relevant, anyway.

[...]

A happy, fulfilling, but short life spent in obliviousness, ending in a relatively quick and easy death.

Or a life of knowing the truth, facing that the reality around you is a lie, and realizing that escape is virtually impossible—and that even if you succeed, you're just headed to a possibly even worse situation.

Which would you pick?
selfimmolates: (ne. 1.)

[personal profile] selfimmolates 2019-04-07 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
[he smiles wryly.]

I'm the only one who never had a choice, actually. You know what infantile amnesia is?
selfimmolates: (il. 5.)

[personal profile] selfimmolates 2019-04-07 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
I don't have it. I have memories dating to from when I was a fetus.

[y e a h]

So I remembered seeing the demons as an infant, which allowed me to realize what was going on once I was old enough to grasp the concepts. [which. was a very young age because prodigy.] Whereas all of my siblings were clueless, I was the only one who knew the truth growing up.
selfimmolates: (13. 5.)

[personal profile] selfimmolates 2019-04-07 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
[ray looks mostly passive, since he doesn't really like talking about feelings? but for the sake of his point, he kind of has to.]

... It's true that I probably would've had a much happier life if I'd never known. But those were the cards I was dealt with, so...

[well.]

In the end, knowing—and having that time to prepare—saved my life. More importantly, it saved some of the people I cared about. I was supposed to die on my twelfth birthday. Instead, on that day, I escaped with some of my siblings. We actually managed to pull it off.

[...]

Which isn't to say things are easier now, or even necessarily better. We suffered losses to get this far. We're out in a world that humans were never meant to live in. We have to spend each day in fear. If we die now, it'll likely be a crueler death than what we would've had back at the orphanage.

But it's been worth it, to be free and able to call ourselves human beings—and not cattle children under the demons' control.
selfimmolates: (ne. 21.)

[personal profile] selfimmolates 2019-04-07 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
Did Connor tell you he regrets it?
selfimmolates: (ne. 2.)

[personal profile] selfimmolates 2019-04-07 05:58 am (UTC)(link)
So not a no, but not a yes yet either. In that case, let him decide whether it was worth it or not. If he does conclude that he regrets it, then maybe the gods can give him a memory wipe—which is assuming that we are even going to remember anything.

... And besides, there's more than one reason a machine would be disposed of. Regardless of his emotional state, what do you think will happen to him once they design a "better" android model?

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