pc catchall with connor (tootsiepop)

[requiemed]

Comments

[tootsiepop]

[...

There's a delay between her response and her answer. Clear hesitation.]

I was ordered to accomplish my mission by any means necessary. This competition is... an opportunity to guarantee my success.

[He

doesn't sound as certain about this as he did four weeks ago.]

[requiemed]

[She tilts her head.]

Having second thoughts? You hesitated.

[tootsiepop]

... No, of course not.

[Hah. Haha.]

My desires continue to align with those of CyberLife. The deviant uprising must be stopped.

[requiemed]

[After a moment:]

Then why did you pause?

[tootsiepop]

Did I? I didn't realize.

[... That's a flimsy excuse and he knows it.]

[requiemed]

Connor...

[She sighs.]

I don’t want to have the same conversation we had last time. I just think... If you were having doubts, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

[tootsiepop]

[...]

And you, Zoe? If you were on the winning team, what would you use your wish for?

[requiemed]

[It's not hard to notice the change of subject, and she nearly comments on it, but... Maybe there's not much point in disagreeing about it so quickly after the last time.

After a few moments:]

Good question. [...] I mean, obviously I thought I knew what I wanted when I came here, but...

[tootsiepop]

[It's fine? It's fine. This is something he's been meaning to ask, anyway. For all the time they've spent talking about his own existential crisis, they've hardly talked about her.]

But...? If I can ask, what was it that you originally wanted?

[requiemed]

[She glances at him for a moment before looking towards the floor. Unseen, her hands tighten into fists in her pockets.]

...My brother. And it's not that I... I mean, of course I still want him back.

[tootsiepop]

... I understand. You don't have to explain yourself.

[Does he? Well.]

Perhaps it would help if you could pinpoint the moment you started to become uncertain about your original wish. Ask yourself what changed, and why did it change?

[You know, the thing he's currently neglecting to do himself.]

[requiemed]

...I thought this place would be a lot less complicated when I came here.

[That sentiment might seem sudden, but she’s leading up to an answer.]

But it is. That means that there are people I had to start counting on, people who I trust... And really care about. When this is all over, I don’t want to just all go back home and never see each other again.

[tootsiepop]

... You're considering using your wish to stay in contact with those you've met in this competition?

[requiemed]

[After a moment, she nods.]

Everyone keeps telling me I’ll make the right choice, but I... What if I don’t?

[tootsiepop]

I think...

[A slow start, like he's having difficulty properly articulating what he wants to say.]

The "right" choice and the choice that makes you the happiest are one and the same. You're the one participating in this competition. You owe your wish to no one but yourself.

[requiemed]

...Maybe.

[It at least sounds like she's realizing something, like she hadn't considered it in those terms before.]

But how do I know what's going to make me happy before I do it?

[tootsiepop]

[He shakes his head, slowly. This is all very hypocritical advice that he's dishing out, but also—]

I don't have an answer for you.

[requiemed]

[She... deflates a little, even if she tries not to seem like it.]

Yeah. It's not your job to... It's fine.

[tootsiepop]

... I have absolute faith you'll figure it out. Just give it time.

[i hate every single zoe tag in my inbox goddamn it eli]

[requiemed]

That’s what everyone says.

[But, somehow, it’s different coming from him. Knowing how much more difficult it must be for him to say things like this than it might be for other people... There might not be much to smile about here, but she tries to manage it.]

But... You’re a really good friend, Connor.

[tootsiepop]

... I try to be. I want to conserve our friendship.

[He's been burnt before, after all.]

It's... important to me that we're friends.

[requiemed]

[A small smile.]

Is that part of your programming, too?

[tootsiepop]

[...]

No. It isn't.

[requiemed]

[Oh.

That knocks the small smile off her face, replaced by surprise; she glances up at him, not sure quite what to feel.]

Well... Good. [But, also:] Where do you think it came from, then?

[tootsiepop]

... I don't know.

[He sounds genuine about this, though a little lost.]

Something similar occurred while I was assigned to Lieutenant Anderson. At first, he was only the human I was assigned to. But, once I began to learn more about him... I thought, given a little more time, we could have become great friends.

[They could have. They didn't. Now, though—]

I've had the same thoughts about you. [...] Perhaps I've been compromised for far longer than I initially believed.