pc catchall for senri (usogi)

[requiemed]

[ ]

Comments

[usogi]

If I leave Sincerity, there's an obvious empty spot.

If someone else goes to Sincerity, the number might stay the same - or even increase. It'd be confusing, and unsure if I'm in the same spot. So it'd be less clear where I've gone.

It wouldn't have to be forever. I'd actually like it if I could slide right back to Sincerity after, because I don't want to leave him.

[he shrugs]

That kind of thing.

[requiemed]

[She pauses for a long moment.]

Senri, if you don't want to leave him, why are you doing it in the first place?

[usogi]

... I can't handle everyone knowing my alignment. Some people is okay. But if I stay...

[ . . . ]

I think some people would get really mad at me.

[requiemed]

Okay, but... If you switch right back to Sincerity pretty quickly, won't they know your alignment once you do? Because if I switch from Love for a week to swap with you, most people won't think anything has changed.

[usogi]

It needs more moving pieces.

[shit that no one else says besides senri]

Two people added to Sincerity, instead of just one. Someone else goes to Beauty. I'm sure people will switch on their own... but I guess I'd just like to move under the cover of a pseudo-smokescreen?

[requiemed]

[It's hard to sound neutral about this, but...]

...If you can get other people to agree to it, I'll help out. Okay?

[usogi]

[ . . . and senri offers up a smile.]

You don't have to. And I'm not going to ask you too. In fact, if Love loses too many followers, I'll think it's suspicious, and I'll get mad at you.

So you better stay in place, because it's safe with her.

[requiemed]

I know it's safe for her, but... I want to make sure we do what's safe for you, too.

[usogi]

[and senri levels her a look that's quietly tired but - ]

... I'll figure it out, Zo. I appreciate you looking out for me but...

I don't want you to get caught up in my mistakes. There's other people who could take it if they end up in a little hot water, but I won't forgive myself if you end up dealing with that because of me.

[requiemed]

...You realize that if I did, it would be because of something I chose, right?

[It's hard to stop a bit of irritation from seeping into her voice as she says that.]

[usogi]

[he looks away at that, and huffs a laugh]

.... yeah, but I'd be super mad at you, if it was something you did for me.

[requiemed]

...Do you realize just how frustrating you can be sometimes?

[She tries to make it sound flippant, at least.]

I don't think you get that you're... [...] Never mind.

[usogi]

That's I'm....?

[he doesn't follow but also]

... I'm sorry, Zo.

But I'll be way happier if I know that you're not going to get in trouble for my stupid choices.

[requiemed]

Stop it, okay?

[She closes her eyes for a moment before opening them, trying to stop her voice from rising.]

You're not stupid. And - you don't have to be sorry. So just... [A pause, and then she focuses on something else.] I was going to say, I don't think that you get that you're important to me, too.

[usogi]

[senri looks mildly confused at that]

Of course I do...

We're friends, aren't we?

[requiemed]

[There's a multitude of different ways she nearly responds to that, but:]

I don't want you to be sorry, okay?

[usogi]

... okay. Then... I won't be sorry.

Just trust me.

[requiemed]

[It's not hard to see she's upset about something, both from that outburst and from the look on her face, but she tries to push it down.]

Of course I do.

[usogi]

[ . . . ]

Okay.

.... and you know you can talk to me too, right? If... there's something more I can do.

[requiemed]

[There's a pause before she speaks.]

Just keep in mind that there are going to be people who worry about you... And that's not a bad thing, because it means they care about you.

[She stands up.]

I should probably go.

[usogi]

[he reaches out to catch her hand]

Zo -

..... thank you, and I know. I'm not... used to having people worry about me, or concern themselves with what happens to me so...

I'm still learning.

But... thanks.

[requiemed]

[From the way she looks back towards him as he takes her hand, surprised and a touch vulnerable, it's not a gesture she was expecting. It moves her into silence for a moment, before:]

...That's not what I'm upset about, you know.

[usogi]

[ . . . ]

I'll give you space, if that's what you want.

But if you want to tell me, I'll listen too.

[requiemed]

[There's another pause before she takes her hand back to shove her hands in her huge pockets.]

You're not the only one who hates feeling like you can't make a difference. It's worse when someone you care about keeps talking about how they might be in trouble, but they don't want your help anyways.

[usogi]

[ . . . ]

It's not that I don't want your help - it's more like.... I want you to be safe, more than I want your help.

I can't stop you from doing what you want, but I... You know I'd be crazy mad if something happened to you, and it was because I had a bad idea I didn't think through.